I'm an average teenage girl who has a passion for the world around us; especially for those who live such poor and humble lives. I have one adopted sister who is 9 years old and 4 other younger siblings. (Including one baby sister in heaven)
Adoption is something I'm truly passionate about - the ups, the downs, and everything in between. Something I really try not to do among families or individuals who have adopted is hold judgment. Every adoption is vastly different and every family needs to make different decisions that are healthy for them. People who aren't familiar with adoption, tend to think many different things and that can either be good or bad. Some example responses include:
#1: They can be really excited for you, encourage you, and pray for you. They might ask a few questions but it's mostly because they want to know more about your exciting news.
#2: They might be kind of excited for you but mostly think you're crazy. Adoption is not always an easy concept to grasp, and they probably don't know what to think. So they don't really hold a good or bad opinion.
#3: They might flat out say, "What?! Are you crazy?!" They might judge you or gossip about you. They might ask questions that are nosy and rude. Hands down... They are not happy at all for you.
Adoption is real. It's a long process that can wear you out. It requires a lot of faith and hard work to pull you to the very end. My family has experienced all 3 of those responses and it's hard. Especially when people aren't excited for you. We also heard things like: "That's so expensive! Another kid?! So your child will have different colored skin?" Explain this to me...How do you put a "price tag" or appearance on a child that you haven't even met yet? Oh and when do you all of a sudden get to control the sanity and size of my family? I'll tell you right now...My family IS CRAZY!
To say the least, it is hard having 5 kids and living with one income. I'm not gonna lie... I see my parents stress out about certain things and it's not easy to watch. The truth is that God tells us to do the challenging things! He wants us to get out of our comfort zone, so we can do things that bring glory and praise to Him. Not to our family, friends, neighbors, or even society... To HIM!
Adoption is amazing and difficult at the same time. You have to take one step at a time and know that God will get you through. Every adoption is different. People adopt from different countries, adopt children with different colored skin, adopt children of all different ages, adopt children with different needs, but they are all different in a great way. Adoption is a gift, that will change your life forever.
My sister was almost 4 1/2 when she came home, and it was considered an 'older child adoption'. My goodness gracious, she has rocked our world. It has seriously been one of the hardest things we have ever done. What you have to realize is this... She has experienced more trauma, grief, and loss than anyone should have to go through and she was only 4 years old. Imagine losing everything you ever had...clothes, family, security, trust, possessions, & love. How alone and broken would you be? We try our hardest every single day to help her feel safe and to be a loving family. My sister isn't broken because she was adopted; she's broken because she was abandoned. Some way, some how, abandonment is in every. single. adoption.
Even though adoption is different, and good, and stretching... It is truly a blessing. Can you imagine seeing a child blossom and grow in every way when they get a forever family? I can and I have experienced it. It is one of the most incredible things ever. You can't just look at the outside of a little child and think "Oh, they're not worth it." Every child is worth it, and they deserve everything you have. We brought a little girl home from the other side of the world to help her grow and learn and have the love of a forever family. That doesn't happen in the snap of your fingers. Everything takes time and the only one who knows how long it will take is our astounding Savior.
When you look at the inside of a child... you have to realize that they should have a chance. A chance to live. A chance to thrive. A chance to grow. A chance to learn. A chance to love. A chance to trust. A chance to be an example.
Because one person at a time... WE ALL can be that example. Sharing the love of Jesus to everyone.
You cannot just be into adoption to adopt; you have to be into parenting. ~ Jen Hatmaker
Behind the Scenes Look On Our Adoption Right Here