January 10, 2017

Love Letter.

You never really expected it to happen. Your heart was broken, but you kept your chin up and put a fake smile on your face for months. You spent an entire summer trying to get over him. You thought you did it and congratulated yourself. You didn't need a guy, or anyone really, to make you happy. You felt put back together - heart and everything. Your face presented a genuine smile again. And then sometimes people are put back into your life. Everything is ok again. There's closure and forgiveness and laughter. But those moments come back. Those eyes look at you like they used to and those butterflies, that you thought you'd never feel again, return. And slowly but surely - maybe even subconsciously, you fall again. Into trustworthy arms, into a lonely bed, into a confused mind, and back into love. You never thought it was possible last summer when you cried in your car or at the sound of a song. But that person hasn't really changed and you think maybe you're stuck again. With a fake smile and a hurting heart. But maybe just maybe this time you've fallen a little deeper. Not harder, but deeper. Fallen in love with yourself too much to let that boy ruin your heart. again. So maybe this time you'll just love quietly and genuinely until there's another time or maybe another person that says it's ok to love out loud. Because you never thought this would happen again or that you would even feel again at all. But this time it's different and maybe this quiet love is exactly what your mended heart needs.


June 24, 2016

New Transition

Small Town Girl will be having a little transition.

From my last post, you'll read about my life currently and how a few things have changed. These changes are less external, and more internal regarding my perspective and decisions. Let me explain a little bit more.

Recently, I'm more focused on my education and not just "getting by" but actually putting in all my effort towards my classes and grades. In my last semester of college, I only received A's & B's - that was the first time since 8th grade. I realized that if I'm willing to put in more work for a shorter period of time, then I will experience the benefits afterwards. So in the next couple of months, I will finish a summer class, register for state tests, and have an interview to get into The School of Education at UNW. To say I have a lot ahead of me, is an understatement, but I'm looking forward to those adventures. :)

Also, since I'm working 3 jobs this summer, I have a lot less time to blog and keep up with everything going on in my life. However, I still LOVE to write. I'm constantly typing up small paragraphs on my phone, writing quotes in a notebook, or occasionally getting on my laptop to type up a blog post. Writing is how I best express my thoughts and experiences.

So with all of that being said, my blog, will be transitioning to more of a journal. I've been away since March, and during that time I really felt no pressure to hurry and get a new post on my blog. Blogging is something that I love to do, but  I don't want to feel any pressure to have the most page views, or followers, or shares. I just want a place to document my life and have fun reading my fellow writers' blogs as well.
For the future, you'll still see posts, pictures, and life updates from me, but just whenever I have the time. I hope you'll continue to stop by, enjoy catching up, and looking at pictures. Feel free to follow me on Instagram, find me on twitter, or shoot me an email - I'm always checking my social media and texts or emails from people.

Thanks for always being such fantastic followers and great friends, too.


June 22, 2016

Life as it is

I've always heard the phrase "time flies" and within the last year of my life I fully believe it does. Our lives are nothing but time...Sometimes when you have a long shift at work, the time feels slow or when you're having fun with your friends, you forget about the time and soon enough 5 hours has passed. What we choose to do with our time is all up to us.

In the last few months (!!!!) that I've been absent from my blog - my life has changed and I've been shaping my decisions around my future. Nothing huge or exciting has happened, but through time, people and different elements of life tend to shift. Through these changes, I'm focused more on myself, my education, and what God wants me to do for His kingdom. So I thought I'd journal what I've been up to lately and give you a glimpse of my busy life.

This Summer, I'm working 3 jobs and trying to fit in some fun things too. I'm just trying to keep busy and put some money away before college starts again in the Fall. I nanny 3 days a week, drive to the cities and work at my university one day a week, and also have a retail job on days that I can fit in an extra shift.

Once August comes, my "big sister", Josi, will be moving out and headed across the world for an international teaching job. We're so proud of her and know she will excel at everything she does. Then a couple weeks later, my sister, Erin, will also move out and head south, 3 hours from home, for her first year of college. And finally, a week after her, I will head back to UNW for my Sophomore/Junior year of college. Such a crazy busy time for our family, but we know that God will be faithful through all of those transitions.

Here are some pictures of my summer so far!

Do you see a common theme? Pictures of me & my sister? Yeah that's because we're dreading the fall when we go our separate ways, so every chance we get, we go do something fun!

Otherwise, I'm spending time with friends, going to a million grad parties every weekend, and hanging out with my family & our dogs.

Just taking in life as it is & all the time I've been given. I'll be back soon.


March 31, 2016

It's a Girl!

**this post is 2 months old because baby girl was born in January**

I had the privilege of being there for my childhood best friend, when her baby girl came into the world. My best friend, Meg, went to the hospital around 11am with her momma. I finished class, packed, and got to the hospital around 2pm. By 9pm she asked for an epidural and kept dilating normally. (but slowly) Nurses and doctors checked on her every 2 hours throughout the night, while her mom rested in the recliner, and I slept on the couch.

By 5am her brothers, dad, and baby's dad were back. We ate some food, Meg kept breathing through contractions, and the doctor came to check her at 7am. She said that baby should make an appearance by 1pm.

At 10:30am Meg kept feeling more and more pressure. Her nurse came in, checked her one last time to confirm she was finally dilated to 10, and said she could start pushing. Her mom, me, and the future dad her the only ones in the room. She started pushing before 11am, but after 2 hours, the doctor came in and said that baby was in the same spot.

They wheeled her back to perform a c-section, with her momma by her side. At 1:58pm, McKinley Darlene came into the world.

Finally after recovery, her family & friends got to go in and meet baby McKinley!

It's funny how we all have our own plans, but sometimes God's plan is different. No matter how much time passed with no progress, or how uncomfortable Meg got, or that baby girl just did not want to come out. He is faithful. And we were thankful that McKinley was healthy and stubborn. ;)


March 28, 2016

Hello March

Hey everybody. Happy March! I can't believe how fast time flies these days.

My life is full and chaotic. Wake up, work out, school, work. Repeat. 

I'm winding down my half freshman/half sophomore year of college. This summer I have state tests to take for school and a new nanny job lined up. In the fall, I'll start my second year here at UNW, and I also found some roommates!

It's crazy how far ahead you have to think when you grow up. But I'm so thankful for the support of my family, new friends, and boyfriend. No matter how much work a college degree is - I'm grateful for those around me who give encouragement and for our amazing God who knows every detail before I do.
Here are some of my favorite memories of 2016, so far.
date night with Derek // my cousin's wedding // babysitting & drinking coffee //
Valentine's Day roses // MN Wild hockey game // I BOUGHT A CAR // new shoes & ripped jeans //
hanging out with my little bro // Derek's birthday // scenery on campus // Driving home for the weekend // 
sunsets // my dog Hattie // Easter Sunday with my sisters

Hope all of my followers are doing well & that you have a fantastic week!


February 23, 2016

An Open Letter to my High School Best Friends

I recently read this post and thought why not write my own letter.
Because I'm gonna be honest. I. Miss. High. School. So. Much.

These girls were my everything. My support, my laughs, boy talk, pizza lovers, terrible dancers, and adventurers.
So here's to them and their beautiful futures.

The Laughs

Thank you for the endless laughs. The last minute sleepovers and girls nights. For helping me eat an entire pizza & cheesecake. For passing out on the couch because it was past 1am and we had just finished a dance party. For the "hot tub of truth" where we told our secrets and trusted each other to never tell anyone.


Freshman to Senior year - you girls are apart of my favorite memories. Color coordinating our dresses for Snowdaze. Taking pictures together before Prom. Dominating an entire lunch table Sophomore year because we didn't want to sit with anyone else. When we were the most athletic girls in gym class because we actually took the ridiculous "volleyball session" seriously. Always trying to sit next to each other in choir so we could actually learn the song correctly. Making signs for our friends and holding them up in the stands when they won their section title game.


Getting to go on my senior trip and enjoy every part of it with you by my side. Graduating high school with all of you in the auditorium with me. Learning how to drive and getting our first cars to carpool every where together. We made the varsity team together and played side by side on the court. Celebrating our birthdays, first jobs, first kisses. I'm thankful that I got to experience the best moments of my life with you girls.

What I Missed

Sorry I wasn't there for you when you broke up with your boyfriend. Sorry we only hung out once over the summer because we were "too busy". I'm sorry I missed your last high school basketball game. I wish I was there when you found out you got into your dream college. I wish I could have punched the guy that broke your heart. I wish I hadn't missed so much.

For the Future

So. To your beautiful journeys ahead. I wish you the best. I hope you can reach a 4.0 gpa. I hope you find new friends that make your heart happy and make you laugh. I hope you're never afraid to hold back and to fight for what you believe in. I wish you the best 4 years in college; I know you'll do great, just like you did in high school. Drink lots of coffee, buy lots of clothes, go on as many adventures as you can. I know you'll achieve great things.

Dedicated to the girls that stood by me in everything. My life wouldn't have been as exciting or fulfilling without all of you as my sidekicks.


February 17, 2016

I'm Alive // 2016

Woah where do I even begin?! I've been absent from this little corner of the internet for well over 2 months. I'll do my best to recap bits and pieces of my life, and hope you don't get too bored.

I did survive my first semester of college. Barely though. It was a great feeling walking out of my last final and then realizing it was officially Christmas break! I then proceeded to basically pack up my entire dorm room. Break was an entire month long and even though I worked about 40 hours a week - it was nice to not worry about school for a while. Before I left campus I did two things.

Snapchat my mom this picture and and then laugh at how pathetic MN looked in December.

Christmas was amazing this (last?) year. I got to spend my first Christmas with Derek and just being surrounded by everyone I love made me realize how grateful I am for this life. My parents have never made Christmas all about gifts. Instead they've reminded us to be thankful and happy for what we have. It was also fun having Josi with us this Christmas - We were one big {happy} family!

(I'm not really sure what it is with my little siblings and their shirt sleeves)

Things I enjoyed over break:
Being with my family
Date night with Derek
Catching up with high school friends
Hanging out with my dogs
Laying around and doing absolutely nothing
Shenanigans with Erin
Finding out I was going to be a bridesmaid in my cousin's wedding

Just to name a few...

Hope you enjoyed the pictures friends! My life is even more chaotic (how is that possible!?) right now than it has ever been. Thanks for following along!