Love Letter.

You never really expected it to happen. Your heart was broken, but you kept your chin up and put a fake smile on your face for months. You spent an entire summer trying to get over him. You thought you did it and congratulated yourself. You didn't need a guy, or anyone really, to make you happy. You felt put back together - heart and everything. Your face presented a genuine smile again. And then sometimes people are put back into your life. Everything is ok again. There's closure and forgiveness and laughter. But those moments come back. Those eyes look at you like they used to and those butterflies, that you thought you'd never feel again, return. And slowly but surely - maybe even subconsciously, you fall again. Into trustworthy arms, into a lonely bed, into a confused mind, and back into love. You never thought it was possible last summer when you cried in your car or at the sound of a song. But that person hasn't really changed and you think maybe you're stuck again. With a fake smile and a hurting heart. But maybe just maybe this time you've fallen a little deeper. Not harder, but deeper. Fallen in love with yourself too much to let that boy ruin your heart. again. So maybe this time you'll just love quietly and genuinely until there's another time or maybe another person that says it's ok to love out loud. Because you never thought this would happen again or that you would even feel again at all. But this time it's different and maybe this quiet love is exactly what your mended heart needs.

-MKF

Life as it is

I've always heard the phrase "time flies" and within the last year of my life I fully believe it does. Our lives are nothing but time...Sometimes when you have a long shift at work, the time feels slow or when you're having fun with your friends, you forget about the time and soon enough 5 hours has passed. What we choose to do with our time is all up to us.

In the last few months (!!!!) that I've been absent from my blog - my life has changed and I've been shaping my decisions around my future. Nothing huge or exciting has happened, but through time, people and different elements of life tend to shift. Through these changes, I'm focused more on myself, my education, and what God wants me to do for His kingdom. So I thought I'd journal what I've been up to lately and give you a glimpse of my busy life.

This Summer, I'm working 3 jobs and trying to fit in some fun things too. I'm just trying to keep busy and put some money away before college starts again in the Fall. I nanny 3 days a week, drive to the cities and work at my university one day a week, and also have a retail job on days that I can fit in an extra shift.

Once August comes, my "big sister", Josi, will be moving out and headed across the world for an international teaching job. We're so proud of her and know she will excel at everything she does. Then a couple weeks later, my sister, Erin, will also move out and head south, 3 hours from home, for her first year of college. And finally, a week after her, I will head back to UNW for my Sophomore/Junior year of college. Such a crazy busy time for our family, but we know that God will be faithful through all of those transitions.

Here are some pictures of my summer so far!

Do you see a common theme? Pictures of me & my sister? Yeah that's because we're dreading the fall when we go our separate ways, so every chance we get, we go do something fun!

Otherwise, I'm spending time with friends, going to a million grad parties every weekend, and hanging out with my family & our dogs.

Just taking in life as it is & all the time I've been given. I'll be back soon.

xoxo,

Michlyn

Hello March

Hey everybody. Happy March! I can't believe how fast time flies these days.

My life is full and chaotic. Wake up, work out, school, work. Repeat. 

I'm winding down my half freshman/half sophomore year of college. This summer I have state tests to take for school and a new nanny job lined up. In the fall, I'll start my second year here at UNW, and I also found some roommates!

It's crazy how far ahead you have to think when you grow up. But I'm so thankful for the support of my family, new friends, and boyfriend. No matter how much work a college degree is - I'm grateful for those around me who give encouragement and for our amazing God who knows every detail before I do.

Here are some of my favorite memories of 2016, so far.

date night with Derek // my cousin's wedding // babysitting & drinking coffee //

Valentine's Day roses // MN Wild hockey game // I BOUGHT A CAR // new shoes & ripped jeans //

hanging out with my little bro // Derek's birthday // scenery on campus // Driving home for the weekend // 

sunsets // my dog Hattie // Easter Sunday with my sisters

Hope all of my followers are doing well & that you have a fantastic week!

xoxo,

Michlyn

I'm Alive // 2016

Woah where do I even begin?! I've been absent from this little corner of the internet for well over 2 months. I'll do my best to recap bits and pieces of my life, and hope you don't get too bored.

I did survive my first semester of college. Barely though. It was a great feeling walking out of my last final and then realizing it was officially Christmas break! I then proceeded to basically pack up my entire dorm room. Break was an entire month long and even though I worked about 40 hours a week - it was nice to not worry about school for a while. Before I left campus I did two things.

Snapchat my mom this picture and and then laugh at how pathetic MN looked in December.

Christmas was amazing this (last?) year. I got to spend my first Christmas with Derek and just being surrounded by everyone I love made me realize how grateful I am for this life. My parents have never made Christmas all about gifts. Instead they've reminded us to be thankful and happy for what we have. It was also fun having Josi with us this Christmas - We were one big {happy} family!

(I'm not really sure what it is with my little siblings and their shirt sleeves)

Things I enjoyed over break:

Being with my family

Date night with Derek

Catching up with high school friends

Hanging out with my dogs

Babysitting

Laying around and doing absolutely nothing

Shenanigans with Erin

Finding out I was going to be a bridesmaid in my cousin's wedding

Just to name a few...

Hope you enjoyed the pictures friends! My life is even more chaotic (how is that possible!?) right now than it has ever been. Thanks for following along!

xoxo,

~Michlyn

One. Week. Left.

Guys the time is winding down!! In just over a week, I'll be back home with my family & my dogs & working & having no school work.
Can't. Wait.

College has been much tougher than I ever thought it would be. Many different aspects tie into the first semester being a little challenging but this too shall pass. I've learned SO much and am just taking more and more steps towards my ultimate goal - which I'm incredibly excited about.

With no set schedule (besides classes), little sleep, homework, and other various socially & mentally draining events - you get a little exhausted. So I'm very much looking forward to being home for almost a month!

Highlights of my first semester?

- Getting to know my roommates better & we're actually adding our best friend to our dorm room next semester :)
-Yes, we were one of those dorms that bought a "pet" fish. Hank Alexander Nigel Sven I - aka Hans. (long story, don't ask. We just call him Hank)
- I'm very thankful for the weekends I got to go home - a lot of students aren't able to.
- Random adventures to Target.
- Playing Just Dance with my roomies until midnight - and losing every single time I might add.
- The support of friends & family! I couldn't do this journey alone.
- My GORGEOUS campus - any season is picturesque.
- Extremely thankful for my boyfriend who pushes me to do my best & supports me through everything. Going to college with him has been such a blessing!
- Also, my sister Erin is my biggest support. She wouldn't complain when I texted her ranting or upset. She drove the 2 hour commute to come see me on weekends I was alone (or just bored). She totally understands me & my heart. It's tough not sharing a room with her anymore but I know we'll be there for each other in everything we do.

Praying all my lovely followers have a safe & blessed Holiday season. Enjoy those around you and don't take them for granted. Remember the real reason for Christmas. I'll be back soon!

xoxo,
~Michlyn

College Life

The last 3 1/2 weeks have flown by so incredibly fast.

All the nerves, anxiousness, and worries are gone. Replaced with new friends, joy, and college adventures. Let's rewind just a little bit...

Family selfie after the truck was loaded up

On August 18th, I moved into my college dorm and started orientation.

The next day, August 19th, at 5:30am I woke up to tryout for the varsity volleyball team. I didn't make the team but it was so fun to meet the girls and get to be on the court again.

Then on August 21st my roommates moved in! They have the same name (Brooke) and so we now go by nicknames based on our last names. We get along so well and we're already really close. That same day my boyfriend (Derek) also moved into his dorm and it's such a blessing to have him on the same campus!

From the 21st-25th, we had constant freshman orientation activities. Met with our orientation leaders, our entire orientation group of 20+ people. We did volunteer work in the community, played "name games", went to chapel together, and had so many informational sessions I thought my head was going to explode.

Goodbye pictures with my brothers

Move in day with Derek :)

Me and "the Brookes" (roommates)

Despite how exhausting and full our days were, it was a lot of fun and my roommates and I got to know our group really well! Classes started on August 26th, and we're just about to go into our 4th week of classes! Time flies so fast and it's insane that I've almost been here for an entire month. Lots of work. Lots of fun. Lots of memories.

First day of school selfie - I only did this for my mom because it's tradition :)

I've even gotten to go back home a couple times to see my younger siblings play soccer, and visit with some friends. Last week, Derek and I went back to our high school to watch my old volleyball teammates play their second home game! It was so fun to see them again and one of my best friends from high school came and watched with us too!

Erin and her best friend came to watch UNW's first football game!

Hope everyone else is enjoying their time back to school! I'll write again as soon as I have enough time :)

xoxo,

~Michlyn

What I'm Going to Miss.

Being the first born of a family has it's pros and cons; just like everything else in life does. There are always positives and negatives but you just have to focus on the right reasons and keep your chin up.

I've always loved being the oldest in my family. And now I'm heading to college in a couple days and it's a whole new experience. I'm the first one to leave the house and go to college. First generation headed to a 4 yr university. I know it's going to be such a fun experience and I'm going to learn so much but I'm also going to miss a lot from home.

My family first and foremost.

My dad whistling in the kitchen as he cooks. Or coming up with ridiculous jokes to make my boyfriend laugh. Or him tickling my feet because he knows it drives me crazy.

My momma. Buying me clothes. Doing my laundry. Listening to her praying with my little siblings - how she's raised them just the same as me. Feeding me truth and wisdom. Singing country songs together in the car.

My best friend, my sister Erin. We've shared a room since she was born. We make up our own words and jokes and laugh about it for years. Or talking about boys in the dark before we go to bed. How we can hate the same thing or love completely different things.

My little siblings too. How they look up to me. How my youngest brother pronounces my name wrong. My littlest sister wanting to be just like me.

Driving down the backroads with the windows down and the music blaring. (I won't get to bring my car on campus as a freshman) Going for late night junk food runs with my sister. Missing my job and my coworkers for how hard they work.

Things are going to change but it's going to be a good experience. One I'm getting very excited for and very nervous for. Hoping these last few days go a lot slower than the rest of my summer. Soaking in every last detail.

xoxo,
~Michlyn

College Packing List

As I've been preparing for my move into my college dorm, I've done a lot of searching for the best things to buy. College dorms are usually very small (depending on where you go to college and how many people it is supposed to accommodate) and so you have to be aware of how much stuff you bring otherwise you'll run out of space.

I've been shopping a couple times already for dorm materials and I've realized that it's much easier to make a couple trips instead of just one. This way you don't have to come up with a ton of money to go on a mega shopping trip. Just make your grand list and then every other week just make a smaller shopping list and start crossing things off as you gather the things you need.

Another tip is (if you have them) to meet with your roommates prior to move in day. Connect with each other or meet for lunch and get to know each other. Make a list together of what everyone already has and what you still need to buy. This way you won't buy doubles of certain items and you also won't forget anything.

So here's a college packing list of things you'll need for your dorm

Room:
Bedding/Sheets/Pillows
Mattress cover
Alarm clock
Lamp
Side Table (for a TV stand or for by your bed)
Futon/Bean Bags/Lounge Chairs (whatever fits best)
TV/DVD Player
Decor (optional - think of the space)
Movies
Clothing/Shoes
Storage dressers/drawers
Totes
Shoe Shelf
Hangers
Desk lamp
Computer
School/Office supplies
Board games/Cards
Curtains
Area rug
Full length mirror
Bulletin board (great for keeping track of schedules)
Laundry baskets

Kitchen:
Towels
Wash rags
Pots/Pans
Dishes
Silverware
Utensils
Chip Clips
Measuring cups
Can Opener
Microwave
Mini Fridge
Oven Mits/Hot Pads
First aid kit

Bathroom:
Shower caddy/bag
Bath towels
Washcloths
Toiletries
Hairbrush
Cotton balls/Q-tips
Toilet Paper
Shower curtain & Liner
Bath mat
Small mirror
Soaps/Lotions/Shampoo & Conditioner

Misc:
Command strips
Cleaning supplies (i.e. clorox wipes, windex, magic erasers, etc)
Extension chords
Fan
Power strip
Plastic bags
Reusable/Tote bags
Radio/Bluetooth speaker
Kleenex
Paper towels
Shelves for food & snack storage
Hand held vacuum

Good luck to all my fellow freshman and good luck on move in day!

xoxo,
~Michlyn

The Story About My Mom

In my literature class this semester, we're reading this book called "Riding Shotgun" :Women Write About Their Mothers: I highly recommend it. It's raw and beautiful and realistic and full of old black and white photographs of incredible women. The stories are real and you can picture every single thing vividly in your head. So I decided to write my own story about my mom...
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

My mother was born to a 17 yr old who's boyfriend was enlisted in the U.S. Navy. She was the first born to my young grandparents, Bonnie and Melvin, who had little to nothing figured out. By the time my grandmother was 19, she was married, graduated from high school, had a job, and was a mother to 2 children. Melvin eventually wasn't in the navy anymore and worked full time as a garage door installer. He would tell you every place he installed a garage door or what kind of garage door you had installed in your home. My grandparents grew up on the ghetto side of the city and raised my mother there for a couple years. By the time her brother was born, they had moved three times and eventually bought a house in the country. My grandmother was the middle child of 10 children and my grandfather the first son of 4 children. Together they raised 4 kids before Bonnie was 25 years old and they both worked full time. My mother, 2 brothers, and her little sister. Bookend girls who were 7 years apart and became best friends. 

My mother grew up to become the second mom to her 3 younger siblings and traded rooms between sharing with her brothers to sharing with her sister. There was only one major school district in their area, so kids from the nearest 5 towns all went to the same elementary, middle, and high school. My mother's mom used a gas stove and burnt everything she cooked. She grew up with the words "suck it up and eat what I made you" and "you didn't cook so you can't complain". Throughout the years, the sacrifices her parents made were difficult and having her mom gone even after she was home from school was hard. Because a woman in the workforce was a privilege and one my mother's family of 6 needed to maintain stable.

When my mother was 16 yrs old she met a boy who was a junior in high school and played for the hockey team. He was dating the snottiest girl in school, and when he walked by my mother in the hall, he winked at her behind his girlfriend's back. After that girlfriend broke up with the boy, he took my mother's best friend out on a date, changed his mind, and started dating my mother. One breakup before prom, graduating high school together, and dating for 6 years later...My mother married her high school sweetheart at the age of 23. For a couple of years they went on adventures, honeymooned in Florida, drank beer up at the cabin with their friends, and built a house on 5 acres. Five days before my mother turned 26, she gave birth to me on the snowiest day of the year. My parents brought me home in a blizzard and started a whole new life experience together. My mother was meant for motherhood. It was her calling, her destiny to raise a family with her loving husband at her side. My parents gave me a sister when I was 18 months old and we were best friends ever since. I remember my mother doing the dishes, and teaching us how to sing our ABC's. I remember her makeup-less face when I had a nightmare and woke up in her bed. I remember her getting the privilege to stay at home and raise me. I remember going to church every Sunday and her talking on the phone for hours at a time. 

My mom had birthed 5 children before she was 35, 4 down on earth and 1 baby girl up above. When I was thirteen we adopted a little girl from Africa and that meant 5 kids, a husband, a house, and a dog that my mom handled with pure grace. This was her job. Motherhood was her job. Girl scouts, snotty noses, dying flowers in vases, messy rooms, greasy hair. Spring break trips to the zoo, school musicals, sleepless nights, a sick husband, dirty dishes. That was her job. She didn't get paid but she sure did one hell of a job.

I remember staying with friends for 9 days because my mother was in Africa with my dad, and crying because I had never been gone from her that long in my entire life. I remember my mother always getting up and getting ready in her blue robe. I remember her pretending she was good at singing while she mopped the kitchen. I remember the toys she helped me pick up after playing with them all day. That was her job. My mother was "the mom". The mom everybody knew. Everybody looked up to. Who raised beautiful children. Who kept her life busy and messy but it was perfect. The one who taught morals and kept the neighbors kids in line to protect her own kids. She was the glue that kept everything together because her husband had chronic headaches his whole life. Together they lost their house and moved three times in 4 years. Together they lost a couple dogs, but just bought another one. Together they lived their life. Not lives, life. My mother was so intentional about everything she did. She was the mother and wife that made everything make sense and if other people did it differently, it didn't make sense. My mother was a role model. For my grandmother, for my aunts who were much too crazy, for her little sister, for her peers and her children. She was "the mom". Because motherhood was her job.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
xoxo,
~Michlyn

Small Town Life

I grew up in a small white house on five acres of open land. A long driveway off a street that wasn't traveled often and next door neighbors that owned john deere tractors. The first born of high school sweethearts, in a small three bedroom house. Eighteen months later and I had a sister. We were best friends from the start. We went to school in our sundresses and tennis shoes. We played barbies, rode our bikes up dirt hills, and climbed trees together. Equally girly girls and tomboys.

In kindergarten, I began going to a small private school and that winter my first baby brother was born. For Christmas we braved the snowy roads two days in a row and drove to our grandparents' homes. Including annual cookie bakes with the cousins and sledding down hills in the backyard.  In the summer we visited the farm next door to my mom's parents' house and fed the horses and went on bike rides to the park.

For Easter, we alternated each year with which grandma and grandpa we would get to see. There were easter egg hunts, frilly dresses, and new white shoes. Occasionally my parents would brave the crying pictures with the easter bunny and too much chocolate. Before church, we woke up early and looked around the house for our Easter baskets.

When I was seven, my little sister Laura Grace was born sleeping and went to heaven in May. Every year we celebrate her birth and go see her beautiful stone at the cemetery. Full of releasing balloons into the sky and planting new flowers. The only thing I remember from her funeral was singing Jesus Loves Me and watching my family cry. I was still too young to understand everything.

Through the years, both of my siblings joined me at the private school. We had our favorite teachers and the school lunches were actually good. Our classes had less than fifteen kids in them and we all grew up together. The boys ran from the girls because they had cooties. We raced on the swings to see who get the highest. Every Wednesday we had chapel and in class we had coloring contests. Twice a year we had a musical and performed for family & friends.

By the time I was nine, my second baby brother was born. Mom & dad and four kids. We went on camping trips, saw fireworks on the fourth of July, and went to the beach in the summer. When school started in the fall we took "first day" pictures and mom drove us in the suburban. We raked leaves piles and jumped in them. In the winter we drove snowmobiles and went ice-skating in our backyard.

After a few years of trying to homeschool and eventually switching to a charter school, we adopted from Ethiopia, Africa when I was thirteen. Adding a fifth to the bunch just made life more beautiful and messy. We moved from our childhood home and took our swing set with us. Youth group trips, family trips to the big city, growing up, and moving again.

Seven. Together we live this life. We navigate the ups and downs. Whether it's dirt roads or a college campus. 8 years old or 18 years old. Living a small town life is what we know. We learn, we grow, we live.

xoxo,
~Michlyn

Looking Back on 2 0 1 4

2014 was such a great year! Looking back I learned many lessons, gained new skills, experienced joy & heartbreak, accomplished my goals, and planned new adventures.

One thing I've noticed about 2014 is that everyone around me, hated it. Friends, family, strangers, people on social media - just about everyone. They post things saying "2014 was supposed to be the best year of my life, but it was the worst." Or say "Goodness I'm glad that's over, here's to 2015." I find it sad that looking back on a full year - 365 complete days, that people find it collectively awful. So sad.

I'm thankful for the entire year - good & bad. For what I learned and what I'll learn in the coming year. Whether you look at the glass half empty or half full, is your choice. Even if you're looking back at 2014 or looking ahead at 2015. Stay positive, there's a lot out there in the world to experience. You won't always experience good but you also won't always experience bad.

Here's my year in 2014.

In January, my school hosted our annual Snowdaze dance, and that was a blast! Me & my entire group of friends are counting the days until this year's dance! And sadly for us seniors, it will be our last Snowdaze altogether.

In February, I took my annual blogging break  and took time for myself to reflect on my life and the chaotic busyness of it all. 

In March, the first day of spring came & that included getting myself back into shape before summer.

In April, I got my first job, got a prom date, and stayed busy with school & managing the boys' varsity basketball team at my school.

In May, my friends and I took way too many pictures, walked across the stage at grand march, and danced the night away at our junior prom. 

In June, I posted my first Summer Instagram post and showed you pictures of my life.

In July & August, I was staying busy with all the summer activities; volleyball captains practices, getting my senior pictures taken, and being with my family. I also did a little post on my adorable brothers and reflected on the great time my youth group & I had down in Kansas City doing missions work and attending a youth conference.

In September, I did a post early in my volleyball season and talked about my team and how much we were progressing. Also, I re-winded through summer with Instagram and said how much I would miss the freedom before I started my first semester as a PSEO college student.

In October, I was in my second month of college classes, in the middle of my volleyball season, and Fall was right around the corner. When the days get cooler and the nights get longer, that only means one thing - Homecoming. I attended my last homecoming dance and became homecoming queen for my fantastic senior class.

In November & December, I finished my last season of high school volleyball and recapped my senior season. Then, a couple weeks later I turned 18 and got accepted into my #1 college. 

2 0 1 4 has been a blast! Full of memories - things I'll always remember and things I want to forget. Life is extraordinary and everyone has their own journey. I'm excited of what 2014 gave me and looking forward to the journey ahead in 2015.

Thanks for following along!

xoxo, Michlyn

Missing Pieces

I haven't been totally dedicated to blogging this year and fortunately I'm really thankful for that. Being able to enjoy life and every moment has been a joy, and 2014 has been a blast to document no matter how much I've missed.

But I'm just going to post a little on some of the most exciting things of my life that haven't made it to the blog yet. So here we go...

November 2014 

In the beginning of November I turned 18! Every kid thinks of their 18th birthday - It's one of the biggest birthdays you'll ever have and you think it's sooooo far away. My 18th birthday was very special and I was blessed to have family and friends to celebrate with that day. Through these 18 years, the Lord has blessed me incredibly and I couldn't thank Him enough for the beautiful life he's given me and the beautiful people he's put in it as well.

Earlier that same day, on my birthday, a special letter came in the mail for me. And in just perfect timing, I read that letter that accepted me into my dream college! I've wanted to go to this college since I was a little girl and as I researched it since junior year, I knew it was the place for me. Ever since I was little I've had a love for teaching/leading others and from the young age of  9, God gave me a calling to become an elementary teacher. So I'm happy to announce that in the beginning of Fall 2015, I'll be attending UNW to major in Elementary Education!

I'm so so excited to become an eagle next Fall and begin the next chapter of my life as an "official adult". ;) Still working out some little details but I'm also looking forward to graduating in May to start another journey. It's crazy how time flies - Soon this will be a reality.

Next I'm here to share a few senior pictures with you all! 

More to come - xoxo, Michlyn

Volleyball 2014 Recap

Ok everyone...I'm officially done with high school volleyball. The last week of October ended my last season. Senior volleyball season has by far been my favorite and most memorable season ever! This year, we had a whole new coaching staff for all teams and that was such a blast. What our coach taught us is incredible and she did such a phenomenal job of turning our game around.

It was my second year being a captain for these girls and I loved every bit of it. My co-captains were Hannah and Monica and it was such a blast leading the team with them this past season. Since Monica and I are both seniors, I'm super pumped to see Hannah continue to lead the team next year.

Some high lights of our season include:
Second place in tournament #1
FIRST PLACE TROPHY from tournament #2
3-5 in conference record
Finishing with .500 or above from the whole season
2 of our players made the all-conference team (My teammate Annelise & I)

I could go on and on about my last season playing for the panthers. I'm ecstatic to see how far the girls will go next year and for the years to come! We played our hardest girls...proud of each and everyone of you! Now for the pictures...

Captains :)

The first trophy the volleyball team has won in years...Such a proud moment! First place!

Seniors - Love these girls :)

Oh I would do anything to go back to this moment!

Senior Night

 PANTHERS VOLLEYBALL 2014

xoxo,

~Michlyn