Blessed. {3 years}

When I wrote this post...I was a little nervous. I had never written about our adoption and it's crazy journey on my blog before. I didn't know what the responses would be like, but I knew I had to do it.

You guys are amazing! So many prayers were lifted up to our Savior and we could feel them! I actually have gotten asked a few times since, how my little sister is doing. And I'm here to give you an update.

As the big sister in an adoption, you're looked up to. She wants to dress like me, do the same stuff as me, and talk like me. (including other big sister Erin) But that can be hard, because even though you can sometimes see sweet and innocent sides of her, you know it's much deeper. Her survival skills that will kick in just so she can impress you or get you to like her.

Adoption is hard if you don't see all sides. You have to understand that these amazing children were abandoned. Some how...some way. They are not with their first family. And genetically, emotionally, physically, and mentally...there is always going to be something that ties them back to that. So whether it's a hard process or not to work through that, it's still there.

Our adoption was considered an "older child adoption". My sister was around 4 yrs old when we brought her home. So we see a lot more of the grief, hurt, and distrust that she feels. After she learned english perfectly...it was the words mostly. Gross words of hate and abandonment came out of her mouth. Tantrums and screaming because she's so unsure of the future. She has this undying need to be in control of everything she does. But part of that trust, is us teaching her that we have everything under control & she has to learn to be a kid again.

We have seen some improvement since I wrote that post 2 months ago. My mom has needed to literally hold her and tell my sister to listen to her. (in a way that helps bonding and will let her know that my mom is the parent...not her) And that can be frustrating and takes a lot of energy for a surprisingly strong 7 yr old. But my mom hasn't had to hold her in a while. She can just calmly explain that my sister needs to change her attitude or she'll need to take a break in her room. The words haven't stopped yet, but that is a control thing that comes when her anxiety is at an all time high. 

We're holding onto a hope that takes us one step at a time. Whether she'll keep improving, or we'll take a couple steps back...it's all apart of the journey. And guess what guys! IT'S BEEN 3 YRS (last week) SINCE MY SISTER CAME HOME. 3 WHOLE YEARS! 

Our God chose us for this journey, and I'm holding onto the hope He gave us...that the best is yet to come. Keep your prayers coming...we feel them, and we're so blessed to have people like you that support us & don't judge us on this road of life.

xoxo,

~Michlyn

Photoshoot {Tareh Jo}

This rarely happens, but I took my youngest sister out to our small, fenced-in backyard and decided to snap a few photos of her.

They turned out pretty darn well if I do say so myself. :) So here they are!

 She didn't really feel up to it...and that's kind of frustrating. But we worked through it.

Tried a couple different poses in a couple different places with a couple different hairstyles. (if you couldn't tell)

But there were definitely some favorites! Towards the end, I think she may or may not have actually been enjoying it.

My mom does a fantastic job on her hair, doesn't she?! And for some reason I was loving the pink!

I will admit her eyes are pretty gorgeous.

Ahhh...I just love this pose! It's so her "style".

And that concludes all the wonderful editing I've been doing for the past week! (excuse the massive sun flare in the middle of the pic)

xoxo,

~Michlyn

Adoption: Behind the Scenes

Most of you know that I have an adopted sister. She is 7yrs old, she was born in Ethiopia, Africa, and has now been home for about 3 years.

The first thing people see is a beautiful, spunky, & innocent little girl that is part of our family. If meeting someone for the first time, they ask her a lot of questions and just say how cute she is. The thing is...they don't know.

They don't know how hard our daily life can actually be.
They don't know how much trauma and hurt she's gone through.
They don't know how different everything was before.


Adoption is a miracle. It brings kids home from all over the world. And everyone who brings a child(ren) home always have different situations. Some are good, some are not so great, and others are rough.

Ours has been rough. Because behind that little girl with crazy curly hair, and a smile that could trick even the wisest person...Is a daughter of our King who is broken. Completely and utterly shattered into thousands of pieces.

The pieces of trust, love, connection, joy, security, and hope are missing. They were missing before we even laid our eyes on that very first picture of her.

And as I see the tantrums, tears, and hurt through her...I see more than just my broken sister. I see how she sees herself. I see how she thinks she should be treated. It's the hardest thing I've experienced.

Mostly I just want to cry at the hardship of it all and sometimes I want to laugh at the craziness God put into our lives.

The patience my parents have. The wisdom of therapists, friends, & prayer warriors. The protection and grace of our Savior.

It's all just a gigantic huge mess. Sometimes a bad mess. Sometimes a good mess.

When people don't understand our situation and chat and smile with my sister. I just want to scream. Because she barely does that with us. We should be the ones giving her the love, patience, and lessons of life and get a smile. But that's rare. And I just want to tell that person how they don't understand. How incredibly hard we try to make progress and teach her every. single. day.

1 yr. 2 yrs. 3 yrs.... Those walls around her heart have been falling a lot slower than we ever expected. Everything isn't hard of course. She's grown so much and learned quite a bit. But when survival kicks in from past memories or something triggers...we start sliding down instead of climbing up. And each step is going to be work & worth it.

This is exactly how we live without pretending. We show her the best we can and hope & pray that things will get better. I don't know who will truly understand this, but I hope it makes you think a little differently if anything at all.

I just needed to say this. And Jesus is faithful.

~Michlyn

Road Trip

As I said... I'm going to be really busy and won't be seeing Beka for about a week... I think that's a record! But I'm excited to take this road trip... squished altogether or not.

We're off to take a road trip in the morning! We'll be visiting with a family that my parents traveled with in Ethiopia. We're all pretty excited to spend time as a family and also with friends around this holiday season. A dear friend of my mom... Her parents are letting us stay in their duplex, which is just about 2 hours away from where are friends are staying in their hotel.

God has blessed us to go on this trip and we're thankful for that! Erin and I are packed, and maybe my brothers... not sure yet. Just to finish packing everyone else and everything else for our 12-13 hour road trip. Dear Lord in heaven give us all peace and patience. :)

Hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas! We definitely did!

~Michlyn