One. Week. Left.

Guys the time is winding down!! In just over a week, I'll be back home with my family & my dogs & working & having no school work.
Can't. Wait.

College has been much tougher than I ever thought it would be. Many different aspects tie into the first semester being a little challenging but this too shall pass. I've learned SO much and am just taking more and more steps towards my ultimate goal - which I'm incredibly excited about.

With no set schedule (besides classes), little sleep, homework, and other various socially & mentally draining events - you get a little exhausted. So I'm very much looking forward to being home for almost a month!

Highlights of my first semester?

- Getting to know my roommates better & we're actually adding our best friend to our dorm room next semester :)
-Yes, we were one of those dorms that bought a "pet" fish. Hank Alexander Nigel Sven I - aka Hans. (long story, don't ask. We just call him Hank)
- I'm very thankful for the weekends I got to go home - a lot of students aren't able to.
- Random adventures to Target.
- Playing Just Dance with my roomies until midnight - and losing every single time I might add.
- The support of friends & family! I couldn't do this journey alone.
- My GORGEOUS campus - any season is picturesque.
- Extremely thankful for my boyfriend who pushes me to do my best & supports me through everything. Going to college with him has been such a blessing!
- Also, my sister Erin is my biggest support. She wouldn't complain when I texted her ranting or upset. She drove the 2 hour commute to come see me on weekends I was alone (or just bored). She totally understands me & my heart. It's tough not sharing a room with her anymore but I know we'll be there for each other in everything we do.

Praying all my lovely followers have a safe & blessed Holiday season. Enjoy those around you and don't take them for granted. Remember the real reason for Christmas. I'll be back soon!

xoxo,
~Michlyn

Heartstrings.

              {one year ago}

They had grown close. He had undeniable charm and her smile took it all in. A 5 month friendship that grew to something a little more. They were complete opposites. He drank on the weekends and she went to church every Sunday. Somehow they interchangeably became an important part of each others' lives. A drunk kid on the phone with the girl he liked for 4 hours turned into sober heart to heart conversations. Soon enough he took her very first kiss on his couch. This fascination with each others' minds and lives and the advice they gave each other. They thought it was love. It was risky and passionate. She thought sneaking away to see him would make it more fun instead of creating boundaries.

She's screaming. Her mom won't stop telling her to stay away from him. He's not good news. His reputation is bad and he doesn't care about you. She's crying. Trying to explain how she feels without contradicting her words. Her heart is throbbing in her chest, almost as much as her throat is from screaming. Trying to deny that he was toxic for her. But inside she knew him and his past. He just kept drawing her back in.

His name popped up on her phone. 

"Are we okay? I feel like I messed up."

"What do you mean you messed up?"

"It was just one night when I was upset. I'm so sorry, I never meant to hurt you."

"Whatever. I thought you were different now."

Heartbroken. Her mom was always right. She couldn't deny it any longer. The passion, happiness, what they thought was love...was not. Tears stained her pillow night after night until she realized it wasn't worth it. She wrote him letters that never got sent. Her mind raced with memories and her heartstrings ached. How was she going to move past this. Someone she thought made her feel so special, so alive. She moved on and kept going. Life didn't stop and month after month went by with an emptiness still inside her. Eventually, strength and independence coursed through her. She would know what happiness felt like again. It wasn't because of a person or a moment...it was because she was living her life and doing things for herself. But she couldn't help but think it was because of the heartstrings he pulled, that actually made her realize how strong she could actually be.

Happiness.

Recently, I've been encountered with the question "Are you happy?". And to be honest, this year was a growing year for me in my strength, maturity, and faith. Nine months ago, the beginning of my senior year, I didn't feel happy. I was stressed, disappointed, lost. Everyone else around me had their lives and plans put together and smiles on their faces.

It felt like I was getting over difficulties in my life and I had no one to turn to. But I kept a smile on my face and went through the motions. I prayed to God to "just make me happy". I quickly learned that He couldn't just "fix" my problems. It takes positive changes and efforts to gain what you want to achieve.

If something makes you unhappy, you have to know what needs to change. Sometimes it takes weeks and sometimes months. Happiness is something everyone wants. If something makes you radiate joy and the people in your life are witnesses, then keep it. Other peoples' opinions often shouldn't matter but when they're people that love and influence you, listen to them.

I'm so thankful for a Savior that loves me unconditionally and is there when it feels like no one else is. He lifts me out of the trenches and back onto the right path. Today, I can honestly answer that question with a positive "yes!".

Do what makes you happy.
xoxo,
~Michlyn

Reflecting.

This is a post mostly for myself. Something that I need to write down so I can come back and remember. If you want to, go ahead and read along but I warn you - it might get a little long and be a tad boring. :)

Looking back on this year, it has been a year of growth and struggle. Good struggle & bad struggle. A full year of fitting pieces of a puzzle back together, erasing scars of my heart, and opening new doors. I look back and realize that I fit a lot into this past year and it brings nothing but joy. I had a lot of stressful moments but I had support and comfort after the storm. And that just brings joy that overpowers all the hard times. For that I'm thankful.

But something else I've noticed is that I have not grown in my faith with God. And that's something I've really struggled with in the past 2 years. You can go read this post and that gives you a little smidgeon of info. We lost our youth pastor around that time and it's been hard ever since. (We do have a new youth pastor now and he is super awesome! Just losing the one before him was pretty rough for a while) Someone really special to me asked me the other day "How is your walk with God?" and all I felt was disappointment. In myself. In my church. In my heart.

My faith has been tested a lot over the past 2 years and I've realized that I rarely turned to God when I needed something or was hurting. I turned to my friends or raged at my parents or cried alone in my room or complained to God. I never prayed to Him or thanked Him or cried out to Him. And I'm SO THANKFUL to everyone in my life who has and will always be there for me in hard times. Whether it's girls from my team, my parents, my best friends, or my grandparents. But most of all I'm so thankful to have a God that is so forgiving, so loyal, and so selfless. If it wasn't for Him not giving up on me or letting me give up on myself then I'd be in a lower spot in my faith than I am right now.

I'm the girl that tries to always have a smile on her face, who hates letting people down, and has a positive outlook on life. My life is beautiful. And there are times when I think "my life couldn't get any better" and times when I think "my life couldn't get any worse". But whether it's good, bad, or beautiful - it's not perfect and I'm not perfect.

So reflecting back on this year it's been an adventure. A crazy one. In 2014, I want it to be even crazier. I want to be crazy for God and for the life and future He has for me. Not the plans I have for myself but the plans that HE has for me. I want to strive to learn about Him and to seek Him in all that I do.

"But the Lord stood with me and strengthened me." 2 Timothy 4:17

xoxo,
~Michlyn

Growing Up & Stuff

I've literally been debating a post idea for days. Clicking "new post" and then "delete" over and over and over because I just couldn't find the words. So life has been busy...

Volleyball is over. Been fitting in as much babysitting as possible. Filling out job applications. Doing a crazy amount of homework each night.

I turned seventeen 2 weeks ago and that has made me feel a different kind of "old" than I usually feel on my birthday. 13 - I became a teenager. 14 - I'd say was my defiant age. 15 - getting more mature. 16 - got my license. 17 - ??? Oh geez I guess that's where a job comes in? So I've been searching the nearby places I'd like to work at so I could start filling out some applications.

We've all heard about the applications, the interviews, the coworkers, and the job itself processes...but until you get there, it's a whole different game. I think trying to find a job has given me the most anxiety and nervousness that I've felt. Just thinking of the questions I'll have to answer, or if they'll think I'm not mature enough, or qualified
enough...and on and on the worries go.

Prayer has been my best friend lately. I also have to thank all my friends that have prayed for me and who have let me vent about life. One night this past week I just got so upset that I had meltdown and just prayed for God to lift me up and not feel so overwhelmed with responsibilities. After all, I'm 17 and still growing up and learning how to do all of this. :)

xoxo,
~Michlyn

Wish I'd Never Grown Up.

You're sitting in your room...playing Barbies or Legos. Crashing cars together or combing your favorite doll's hair.

Laughing and playing like the world will never end. Running around in your superhero cape or dress-up clothes.

Looking at your mommy and wishing that you were as pretty as her. Dreaming to wear that red lipstick or bright nail polish. Watching your daddy shave and lift heavy stuff. Hoping to be as strong as him one day.

Just an innocent little kid waiting for the day when you're big enough to drive around a real car or do your own make-up.

Then 10 years passes by like the wind, and you're a teenager learning how to fit in and get through life's crazy stuff.

The reality is that growing up is way harder than we thought. It's more than just hanging out with friends, driving fast cars, looking pretty, or watching TV like a boss. No...it includes actually becoming responsible, paying for your cell phone bill, helping to grocery shop, watching your little siblings, working hard in school so you can graduate, and maturing into the person that God wants you to be.


And did I mention innocent above? Oh yeah I did...There are so many things that we don't know as little kids. We don't know what drugs or alcohol are, we don't know that bullying even exists in school, or what suicide even is. We think guns are things that cowboys use in the wild west not a common weapon, or that music in the world can be so obscene.

Yeah there's puberty to go through and good hygiene to learn but that's just natural and normal stuff. Of course there are those awkward and funny moments about that stuff, but it's just part of growing up.


And it's hard and frustrating, good and awkward, humorous and exciting. We just have to make wise decisions and live in the moment. Realize that no matter what we go through will pass and we will grow to become mature people.


And sometimes I pretend that I'm a little kid again with no internet access, playing Barbies in my room with my little sister, or swinging with the wind in my hair. But to live without pretending is to take the hard challenges straight on and crush them!



Deep down inside we're still that little kid...Just a bigger version wishing to go back in time.
~Michlyn

Blogger is Frustrating

Blogger is frustrating me right now!!!

It won't change anything on my layout or template.

So excuse the yucky blog details right now, until I figure out what's up.

Hope you're all having fabulous weather just like me! :)


~Michlyn

Oh How Technology Can Ruin Things...

I've been missing because our internet went down for a couple days and that was really interesting, because I just sat around trying to think of things to do.

I mean I actually got the motivation at 10 in the morning to do my homework... craaazay.

Also our computer has crashed about 3 times in the last 2 months. Awesome.

School files, saved websites, blog ideas, & ALL my photos GONE - scenery, photoshoots, sophomore year pics, instagram...everything. On some random disks that we can't even open.

Sooo I'll have another post up real soon and then hopefully get back into the rhythm of blogging. :)

xoxo,
~Michlyn