July 31, 2013

Blessed. {3 years}

When I wrote this post...I was a little nervous. I had never written about our adoption and it's crazy journey on my blog before. I didn't know what the responses would be like, but I knew I had to do it.

You guys are amazing! So many prayers were lifted up to our Savior and we could feel them! I actually have gotten asked a few times since, how my little sister is doing. And I'm here to give you an update.

As the big sister in an adoption, you're looked up to. She wants to dress like me, do the same stuff as me, and talk like me. (including other big sister Erin) But that can be hard, because even though you can sometimes see sweet and innocent sides of her, you know it's much deeper. Her survival skills that will kick in just so she can impress you or get you to like her.

Adoption is hard if you don't see all sides. You have to understand that these amazing children were abandoned. Some how...some way. They are not with their first family. And genetically, emotionally, physically, and mentally...there is always going to be something that ties them back to that. So whether it's a hard process or not to work through that, it's still there.

Our adoption was considered an "older child adoption". My sister was around 4 yrs old when we brought her home. So we see a lot more of the grief, hurt, and distrust that she feels. After she learned english perfectly...it was the words mostly. Gross words of hate and abandonment came out of her mouth. Tantrums and screaming because she's so unsure of the future. She has this undying need to be in control of everything she does. But part of that trust, is us teaching her that we have everything under control & she has to learn to be a kid again.

We have seen some improvement since I wrote that post 2 months ago. My mom has needed to literally hold her and tell my sister to listen to her. (in a way that helps bonding and will let her know that my mom is the parent...not her) And that can be frustrating and takes a lot of energy for a surprisingly strong 7 yr old. But my mom hasn't had to hold her in a while. She can just calmly explain that my sister needs to change her attitude or she'll need to take a break in her room. The words haven't stopped yet, but that is a control thing that comes when her anxiety is at an all time high. 

We're holding onto a hope that takes us one step at a time. Whether she'll keep improving, or we'll take a couple steps back...it's all apart of the journey. And guess what guys! IT'S BEEN 3 YRS (last week) SINCE MY SISTER CAME HOME. 3 WHOLE YEARS! 

Our God chose us for this journey, and I'm holding onto the hope He gave us...that the best is yet to come. Keep your prayers coming...we feel them, and we're so blessed to have people like you that support us & don't judge us on this road of life.



Kennedy said...

You are so right that God chose your family to be a blessing to her and give her the love that she needs and deserves. It sounds like you guys are doing an amazing job with her and I will keep praying that she continues to improve and that the anger and trust issues are removed from her heart.

Michlyn said...

Thank you Kennedy for your ongoing encouragement! It really makes me happy! 'T' had an especially hard day yesterday, but nothing bad compared to other hard days we've had in the past. Also thank you for the prayers! Our God is amazing and he's healing that heart of hers. :)


Kennedy Dukes said...

I am sorry to hear that yesterday was a hard day. :( That must be so difficult.